Father Time Runs Quick
by crazyarsonist
Summary: Because not everyone was granted the promise of eternal life. A series of one-shots for those who didn't drink the elixir of immortality.
1. Ladd Russo

**Useless Notes:** A little tribute for the mortal characters of _Baccano!_ Chapter installments will be very slow, as I'm still re-watching the series. It's one of my favorite series of all time and why everyone else has hardly heard of it is beyond me.

**Disclaimer:** Even with an imagination as retarded as mine, I could never attempt to create half the universe _Baccano! _has.

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

**Father Time Runs Quick**

**1. Ladd Russo, former murderer, still dances in his cell despite his old limbs.**

The year was 1983 and Ladd Russo was in his late seventies. He may be a rotting old man now, but he has not been forgiven of the numerous murders he committed in his youth, and so as such, he is still serving his time in Alcatraz. Despite his loneliness and boredom within the four walls of his cell, Ladd still remains cheery; the memories of his victims' faces are more than enough to bring a smile to his face anyway. And Lua.

Lua, that lovely, lovely woman, had died three years ago already and Ladd had been pleased she had not chosen to marry another while he was wasting away in Alcatraz. In fact, Lua, hobbling in her own old age, had made her way to his cell one evening, clearly on the verge of death. She brought a razor with her and dropped right in front of Ladd's cell, a knowing and expecting smile on her face. Ladd picked up the razor, saw how it gleamed in the moonlight, and smiled broadly at his lover. She had not forgotten their promise. That was good and how it made Ladd so happy!

The dead body discovered the next morning by his cell obviously did little to help public sympathy shift towards Ladd, but that was just fine. Lua had lived for so long without him and after all this time, she still kept the promise they made to each other in their wild youth- that he would save her for last and kill her to his heart's content. And by the time the deed was done, Ladd felt nothing in his heart but ecstasy, so much that nothing else mattered to him but the beautiful corpse laying in front of his cell.

His sentence was lengthened to life- which was what the courts should have done in the first place to save the trouble- and any chance of him ever getting out had shrunk down to zero. But the inmates and the guards had now become more scared of him and that was more than enough to satisfy him. And besides, he had his memories of Lua and his other victims to keep him entertained during those long nights, and so Ladd was never really alone.

His arm had been completely severed so many years ago and even if modern technology gave him the chance to get a new arm, Ladd had turned it down. It would feel unnatural, having an artificial arm, and no one knew better than Ladd that he was better off with no arm at all rather than with an artificial one. His only remaining hand fingered the little razor the idiot-police had failed to confiscate once they found bloody, lovely Lua by his cell. It was Lua's last gift to him, that razor, and Ladd knew he would do anything to have it near him at all times.

His hair had turned as white as his favorite suits of old, and his skin as wrinkled as his good, old, fat Uncle's chin. But deep within was still the Russo family hitman from before, from the crazed smile to the little spark his eyes would give off whenever he remembered taking people's innards out of their stomachs. His killing instinct had dulled over the years, but he was still as insane as ever, sometimes feeling the sudden urge to just pull someone's neck towards him and squeeze the life out of the poor bastard.

There was never a better lesson to teach than the lesson on mortality, and by God, was Ladd Russo a good teacher; the best one, in fact. Nobody else could snap your fantasies of immortality better than the man himself.

But that had been before, back when he was still young and when he could still hop and dance and sing and carry a shotgun without staggering. Back when he still had his boys and back when Uncle's stomach was still huge and back when he still had Lua.

Those were good times, Ladd always mused, and whenever his thoughts brought him back to the 1930's, he would remember the Flying Pussyfoot along with everything else. Everything was explosive then and the semi-retired murderer would sometimes feel disgusted with himself for feeling a bit of nostalgia whenever he would remember. But even if nostalgia was not a very becoming trait for a man like him, Ladd figured that it was all right. Because, while he would end up missing the old times, he found that he had little regrets from back then: one, that he hadn't killed as much people as he'd wanted to and two, that he hadn't taught that red-headed cocky bastard what it was like to fear death.

He grinned despite these and stared up at the ceiling of his dark, cold cell. Somewhere down the hall, an inmate was laughing manically and if he could, Ladd would join him. But he was old now, and with old age comes fewer reasons to just let loose and laugh.

Still fingering the razor he held in his fingers, Ladd spied a large black rat scurry across the floor. Stepping on its tail with his shoe, he picked it up in his still large hand- although age had wrinkled it already- and started to make light incisions on its stomach with his blade. The rat squirmed in pain and Ladd started shaking his head, making soft sounds of disappointment. It seemed even rats had to be taught a lesson on immortality.

Blood poured through his hand and Ladd felt that old, familiar feeling of satisfaction flow through his veins. His sadistic smile grew even broader as he gave the rat one final squeeze, literally crushing the life out of it.

He spun the razor between his fingers and let the small corpse drop to the floor. His eyes remained fixated on it; still morbidly fascinated and pleased with his handiwork. Ladd's eyes flared up and threw the razor straight through the dead rat.

He gave a low chuckle and started joining the laughing inmate from across the hall. Clearly, age had done little to diminish his passion for killing anything that crossed his way.

And so Ladd Russo, former hitman of the once-renowned, now-disgraced Russo family, threw his head back and laughed wildly, age and sanity be damned.

"Thank you, fuck you, the villain has arrived!"

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

**A/N:** Ladd's chapter was supposed to be a stand-alone one-shot, but I figured I could put in a few more chapters for the other mortal characters of the series. And so, this is still ongoing.

Also, this was done in a bit of a rush, so it's still prone to some errors. I'm still satisfied with it though.


	2. Jacuzzi Splot

**Useless Notes:** The one-shots will remain slightly AU since the events happening in here are different from the ones happening in the original _Baccano!_ novels.

This wouldn't have been possible without the special participations of Mr. Isaac Dian and Ms. Miria Harvent.

**Disclaimer:** Even with an imagination as retarded as mine, I could never attempt to create half the universe _Baccano! _has.

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

**Father Time Runs Quick**

**2. Jacuzzi Splot ages and wonders why some people don't. **

_1933_

It's been almost two years since that terrifying incident on the Flying Pussyfoot and Jacuzzi Splot can still remember every harrowing detail about the massacre as if it only happened yesterday. Rail Tracer, pools of blood, fire… he remembered everything. If only he had saved more people and if only he had been stronger and so much braver, then maybe he could have saved more people. But as Nice was so insistent on pointing out, what happened had happened and if anyone died, then it surely wasn't his fault. Jacuzzi could only smile and be thankful instead that none of his friends were harmed.

Like Isaac-san and Miria-san, for instance, who were currently dancing wildly in the center of the dance floor, knocking tables as they spun around happily.

Jacuzzi smiled tentatively as he raised his wine glass to his lips and took a sip. Then, he looked around and found everyone smiling, laughing and having fun. The Gandor Brothers sure knew how to throw a party, didn't they?

"You got that right," Nice glanced over at him.

Oh crap. Did he just say that out loud?

Another glance. "Yes you did."

Maybe it was the wine. Yes. It was definitely the wine's fault. He knew he shouldn't have taken it in the first place. Now look at what it was doing to him- making him say things out loud and embarrassing himself in front of Nice and-

"Jacuzzi, quit apologizing. None of this is your fault, you know." Nice smiled at him warmly and raised her glass. "Cheers."

He smiled back at her and thanked Whoever Was Up There that none of his friends was hurt indeed. Nice shook her head in amusement and Jacuzzi knew he had said that out loud too.

Cheers.

_1937_

"Urrk- Isaac-san, Miria-san!" Jacuzzi gasped as the two wrapped him in one of their special bear hugs. "Not so tight please!"

"But it's great news, Jacuzzi! Great news indeed!" Isaac crowed.

"It'll make all the headlines!" Miria chirped beside him.

"You're betrothed! Engaged!"

"Two lovebirds in love finally tying the knot!"

"It'll be a wedding! A festival! A jamboree!"

"A shindig! A wingding!"

"A carnival that'll put every king to shame!"

"Like King Phillip!"

"Or King Henry!"

"And just about every king in the entire history of the entire _world!_"

Nice stopped laughing long enough until she realized that Jacuzzi's face was now turning blue. "Now, now you two," she went in between the overjoyed couple and her now hacking fiancé. "I'd appreciate it if you let go of my husband-to-be, or else there wouldn't be a wedding."

But they weren't listening.

"Ain't it a glad event, Miria?"

"It sure is, Isaac-kun! I can hardly wait!"

"But!" Isaac suddenly said, his face now turning morose. "But once Jacuzzi and Nice finally tie the knot and get married-"

"And live happily ever after!"

"And live happily ever after," Isaac nodded solemnly. "We'd be seeing less and less of them, don't you think?"

Miria gave a little gasp as her hands flew to her face, while Jacuzzi stopped hacking to look at them hesitantly.

"I-Isaac-san? Miria-san?" he asked, an eyebrow raised. "I don't get it…"

"Of course you wouldn't get it!" Isaac yelled out. "Haven't you thought about it at all? Once you and Nice get married, you'll be spending every day with each other!"

Miria sniffed. "And we won't be seeing you anymore! We'll be seeing less and less of you!"

Nice snapped her fingers, now understanding their plight. "I see," she said, nodding her head.

"You- you do?" Jacuzzi asked, still not quite getting it.

"It's alright, you two," Nice smiled, squeezing Jacuzzi's shoulder a bit. "Once Jacuzzi and I get married and live in a house-"

"And live happily ever after!"

"And live happily ever after," Nice added. "We promise to let you come over whenever you like. We'll even let you play with our kids if you want!"

"K-kids?" Jacuzzi's eyes widened, his face starting to turn blue again. "Kids? Plural?"

"Oh that's wonderful!" Miria clapped her hands in delight. "Don't you think so, Isaac-kun?"

And just like that, the man's mood lifted just as swiftly as before. "I think it's _great!_"

"Oh it's just wonderful, Isaac-kun! We won't be seeing them less and less anymore!"

"Less is more and more is less, my dear Miria!"

"Oh Isaac-kun, you have such a way with words!"

And with that, the two proceeded to break into a joyous little dance.

Nice walked up to her fiancé and winked at him before giving him a little peck on his lips. "They're such a lively duo. I hope they come over everyday, ne Jacuzzi?"

His face was still turning into a slight hue of blue. "How- how many kids are you planning on having, Nice?"

_1941_

They named their first child Kathy.

She looked just like her mother, complete with the matching blonde hair and brown eyes. She also had Nice's fiery spirit and thankfully enough, she didn't inherit her mother's pyromania. Jacuzzi gave a little chuckle at that thought and turned back to his newspaper.

A gentle hand ran through his hair and he knew that Nice had finished tidying up the kitchen. "Penny for your thoughts, Mr. Splot?"

"Depends on how much you're willing to pay me, Mrs. Splot."

A soft laugh made the man's lips curve upwards. Before Jacuzzi could turn around to greet his wife though, her lips had found its way towards his and the two became locked in a warm, passionate kiss.

"Morning, Jacuzzi," Nice smiled as soon as they broke the kiss.

Her husband smiled in reply. "Morning, Nice. Isaac-san and Miria-san are coming over today, aren't they?"

A nod confirmed his thoughts. "I'm sure Kathy will be ecstatic." And Nice turned towards their beautiful child before ruffling her husband's hair again.

He put down his newspaper and sipped his coffee. "I'm sure she will. They are her godparents, after all."

And before Nice could answer, a loud knock came from the door.

"Open up, it's the police!" yelled a voice that was clearly Isaac's.

"You have the right to remain silent!" yelled another, lighter voice that was obviously Miria's.

Their snickers were loud enough to reach the dining hall.

"Well, that's them," Nice smiled and shook her head. "Nick and Donny are coming by later too."

Jacuzzi nodded and watched his wife walk over to the door to welcome their guests. He looked over at his one-year old daughter and smiled at her. Kathy in the meantime, seemed to be preoccupied with her cereals. "Well, there they are," he said to his baby girl. "I bet you're going to have lots of fun today, aren't you?"

And in burst the duo. Before Nice could stop him, Isaac had already lifted Kathy high up into the air as the little girl giggled delightfully. Meanwhile, Miria was reaching up and pinching the baby's nose.

Nice shook her head helplessly and sat down beside her now-worried husband. "I-Isaac-san! Miria-san! Be careful, please! Kathy!"

But only Nice heard his half-hearted protests. "Relax, Jacuzzi," she laughed. "Let them play around a bit, won't you?"

He buried his tattooed face into his palms. "Nothing's changed, they're still the same. It's like those two have never grown at all."

"All things considered, Jacuzzi," Nice smiled and gave him a reassuring peck on the cheek. "I think that's a good thing."

And it wasn't long before Jacuzzi broke out into one of his rare, carefree smiles alongside his wife. But…

"Wh-what is that, Nice?" he asked and gazed down into his wife's hand in horror.

She followed his gaze downwards and gave a little shrug. "Oh, something I asked Miria-san to pick up for me."

"A _bomb_?" Jacuzzi half-yelled. "Nice, I thought you gave those up a long time ago!"

"Well, I didn't," she smirked. "Now, you want to go out with me for a bit? Kathy's a little busy right now and I want someone to come along with me so I can see this little baby blow."

"But Nice, I don't think we should-"

Jacuzzi's protests were cut short as Nice half-led, half-dragged her poor husband out into the backyard. Meanwhile, Isaac, Miria and Kathy made their way into the kitchen, where the tall man spied the cereals the little baby had for breakfast.

"What kinda cereals is this?" he demanded to no one in particular. "Kat-chan, you really shouldn't be eating these at all!"

Kathy gurgled something in reply.

"EEK!" Miria shrieked. "Isaac-kun, Kat-chan's drooling all over the carpet again!"

_1946_

Their second child was named Jack after his father, since he was almost a carbon copy of Jacuzzi himself. But along with the man's looks, Jack had also inherited his mother's attitude and (much to Jacuzzi's horror), the boy had also developed quite a fondness for anything that was bright, shiny and anything that had a loud bang.

Isaac and Miria also dropped by regularly even after Jack was born, although less frequently, as they still traveled round the world together, stealing gifts for their godchildren.

Thirteen years had passed since the Flying Pussyfoot incident and even as Jacuzzi tried to forget about it, the more he found himself remembering. It was unsettling, if not a tad disturbing, now that the memories- though vague- still continued making their way into his dreams. However, one thing that was troubling poor Jacuzzi out of his mind was how Isaac and Miria seemed to have never aged a day since the incident thirteen years ago.

It was weird and it could have been just him, but Jacuzzi certainly noticed that the lively duo had never put on any signs of aging, unlike him and his wife. Jacuzzi himself had grown quite a bit and he still kept the same trim as his haircut during his pre-teen years, while the tattoo still remained as fresh as the first day he had it. His voice had also become deeper and just the other day, Nice had spotted his first gray hair. His wife had also aged along with him: her figure became more defined, but it was no secret that she had been putting on a little weight since her two pregnancies (as Nick kept reminding her). To everyone who knew them, it was obvious that they'd grown quite considerably since the massacre on the Flying Pussyfoot.

But Isaac and Miria were different, though. As they played with their two children in the living room, it was clear that they hadn't lost the springs in their steps and that they were still as lively as ever. Jacuzzi didn't exactly know their ages now and even before on the Flying Pussyfoot, but it was clear that they were much, much older than he was (although their high-spirited personalities begged otherwise). Heck, he couldn't even spot a single eyebag, wrinkle or gray hair on their bodies!

Jacuzzi furrowed his brow deeply in thought, still trying to wrap his head around the aging mystery that was Isaac-san and Miria-san. His thoughts came to a full stop however, as Nice climbed onto the bed in front of him and jabbed the space between his crossed eyebrows with a finger. He jerked his head up in surprise.

"Penny for your thoughts, Mr. Splot?"

He stared at his wife for a full minute, debating with himself and trying to construct his thoughts into coherent sentences in a way that wouldn't make him sound stupid.

"Come on, Jacuzzi. There's no hiding it- it's clear you're thinking about something and I want to know what," Nice sighed, sensing his seriousness. "I don't care if it sounds stupid; if it's bothering you this much, then I don't think it's any laughing matter."

Jacuzzi laughed at how Nice could read his thoughts perfectly, then sobered down immediately. "Nice…" he began. "D-don't you think it's weird?"

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate.

"I mean, haven't you noticed Isaac-san and Miria-san?" he asked hurriedly. "It's like… It's like they haven't aged a day, you know? I- I mean, they were so lively and so enthusiastic when we were all aboard the Flying Pussyfoot and now it's been thirteen years and they're still so lively and enthusiastic and-"

"You're rambling."

He paused, midsentence and looked down at the covers. "I- I'm sorry."

Nice lifted his head gently, her palm under his chin and put a small kiss on his forehead. "Nothing to be sorry about," she reassured him. "Just try to stop worrying about it, all right? I'm at least thankful they're still willing to play with the kids, you know?"

Jacuzzi nodded mutely, as Isaac and Miria's voices were heard from the living room. Then, he shook his head. "You're right, Nice. I guess I shouldn't have been thinking that at all, ne?"

She smiled again and crawled under the covers beside him. "If it's bothering you so much, why don't you ask them yourself?"

"Yeah, I probably will," Jacuzzi yawned a bit and sank back into their bed sleepily. They'd had a long Saturday evening after all and the couple planned to spend their Sunday morning to catch up on some much-needed sleeping time. Isaac and Miria had kindly offered to babysit the kids the whole day anyway, if it meant the couple's relaxation and convenience.

"Maybe later, Jacuzzi?" Nice asked quietly. "You could ask them about it later?"

But her husband had already sunken under the covers to sleep, snoring peacefully in slumber.

_1951_

Their third child was the last and his name was Fred. The former Nice Holystone used to whine to her husband that all the names he picked for all his children were so ordinary and normal-sounding, much unlike theirs. But Jacuzzi only smiled at her and said that he really didn't want to cause his children any unwanted attention just because of their names. Besides, he reasoned, Kathy, Jack and Fred were nice names and wasn't Nice the one who suggested Jack in the first place?

And so, Nice let the argument slide.

The couple was now in their early thirties and the events of the Flying Pussyfoot, while never really going away, were still there, but only as vague memories. Jacuzzi still woke up in the middle of the night with visions of the bloody, gory Rail Tracer invading his dreams, while Nice stayed awake with him to try and fight off the nightmares with him.

Jacuzzi was still prone to worrying fits, and he fretted over even the smallest things. Nice was still the pyromaniac she used to be, although she didn't show it so much now (especially since Jack shared her interest for blowing things up). They saw Isaac and Miria less and less now, since the two came over during important holidays only, like on Christmases and birthdays. They couldn't blame them though; it was obvious they wanted to spend more quality time with each other.

And so, on Fred's first birthday- just three days before Christmas- the whole gang was at the Splot residence again. Donny was wolfing down the cake, while Nick was off teaching Jack how to properly decorate the tree. Jacuzzi's former gang mates were there too (who were they to miss important events like this?) even though most of them had given up their dangerous lifestyles long ago. Isaac and Miria were there, as usual, teaching the ten-year old Kathy how to dance like a proper lady. Jacuzzi himself was unwittingly standing under some mistletoe, obviously deep in thought. Only Nice took notice.

"Well, you look serious," she smirked at her surprised husband before giving him a kiss. At the man's confused stare, she pointed up at the mistletoe. "What's up, Jacuzzi?"

He shook his head. "It's- it's nothing," he smiled a little weakly.

Nice huffed and put her hands on her hips. "You know, Mr. Splot, if the children's godparents are bothering you so much, then why don't you ask them all about their aging secrets right now?"

"Nice!" Jacuzzi's entire face lit up and he broke out into a brief, worry-free laugh. His wife, seeing his mood light up instantly, joined in his laughter herself. "How can you always tell what I'm thinking?" he asked before pulling her by his side and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

She looked up at him and squeezed the hand dangling from her right shoulder. "It's called being your wife, Mr. Jacuzzi Splot."

"Of course, of course," he chuckled. "You do such a good job at it, you know."

"I'm glad you think so, then."

"Nice, you know, if this really was a job, you'd be my Employee of the Month every year," he turned towards her briefly and planted a small kiss on her hair.

She elbowed his side gently. "That was sappy. Not to mention very lame."

Jacuzzi laughed softly, much unlike what he would have done during his younger years. Now that he had aged (and cried all the tears he had in him), Jacuzzi rarely apologized for anything anymore. Although still a worrywart, his apologies had ceased altogether, until almost all of his responses to Nice's taunts were amused chuckles.

"So?" her voice interrupted his thoughts. Jacuzzi turned towards his wife, who still looked as beautiful and radiant as ever, despite the burn scars. "Are you planning on asking the two yet? I'm a bit curious about them, myself. Especially Miria-san… How does she manage to look so young after so long anyway?"

"Don't worry about it," her husband quickly answered. "You're still beautiful to me, Nice. That's all that matters." He would have continued praising her, if not for the elbow shoved into his rib cage.

"Still sappy."

He laughed, hearing the "thank you" in her tone. "Actually, I already asked them about it yesterday, just before the party," Jacuzzi let go of her shoulders and turned to face her completely. He scratched his head awkwardly. "I have to say, I think I got even more confused than before when they finally answered."

"Well, what did they say?" Nice asked, her lone eye focused on the man standing in front of her.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_Silence filled the room as its three occupants stood in the middle of it, staring at each other in slight confusion. _

"_S-so?" Jacuzzi's voice broke the silence. "I've been wondering about since Kathy was born, you know? And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's noticed it, but I really think something's up with you two… How come you haven't aged at all since we saw each other on the Flying Pussyfoot? Isaac-san?" _

_Isaac shifted uneasily in his spot on the carpet. _

"_Miria-san?"_

_Miria gulped and looked up at her now-confused companion. _

_He spoke up first and for the first time in a long time, it looked as if Isaac Dian looked unsure of himself. "Well… Jacuzzi, you see, uhm." He rubbed his chin. "Hm."_

"_The truth is, we didn't really realize it ourselves at first," Miria Harvent stepped in, answering on behalf of her partner. "We used to think it was all because of our amazingly good looks, you know!" And she flashed him the V-sign. _

"_But, but you really haven't aged at all!" Jacuzzi sputtered. "I mean, back when we were on the Flying Pussyfoot, I was still a little kid. And- and now… Now I'm taller than you, Miria-san!" _

_Miria's lips formed an "O" and stared up at the towering Jacuzzi Splot, as if she was only able to figure it out now. "That's right, Jacuzzi! You ARE taller than me!" _

"_Well, didn't we ever tell you before, Jacuzzi?" Isaac cleared his throat, the light bulb atop his head burning brightly. Confused stares turned towards him in reply. "Do you know who Marco Polo is?"_

_xxxxxxxxxx_

"And? What happened?"

Jacuzzi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "According to Isaac-san, Marco Polo discovered the Fountain of Youth."

Nice's eye widened. "Fountain of Youth? Isn't that supposed to be just a story?"

Jacuzzi shrugged. "Well, it seems it really did exist. Marco Polo found it, drank it and became young forever. Isaac-san, it seems, is a descendant of Marco Polo, while Miria-san is a descendant of Mary Polo."

"Mary Polo?"

"Marco Polo's sister. He brought home a jug full of the Fountain of Youth's water, you see."

"And because they're their descendants, those two also became eternally young?"

"That's right."

Silence descended between the two, even as the party went on noisily around them. Donny had now moved on to the punch bowl, while Nick hoisted Jack on his shoulders to let the boy put the star atop the tree. Isaac, in the meantime, was spinning Kathy around wildly while Miria clapped her hands gleefully. Fred, the birthday celebrant, was sound asleep in his room.

"Told you it'd make you even more confused," Jacuzzi snorted, almost giving way to laughter at the sight of Nice's perplexed face.

She scoffed. "I don't really understand and I don't really care, you know. Just as long as they're still around when we need them… That's already enough, don't you think?"

Her husband looked over at Miria, who had now grabbed Jack from Nick, so she could teach him how to dance too. "I guess," he grinned proudly as his son caught his gaze and pointed to the now-decorated tree. "They're fun to have around too. They make everything so much lighter."

Beside him, Nice smiled warmly and looked up again at the mistletoe. Then, she turned back to her still-smiling husband and kissed him again, only this time she made sure she stayed on his lips longer.

She grinned as she felt his initial surprise, then threw her arms around his neck as soon as she felt him reciprocating. His arms meanwhile, wrapped themselves around her waist as he savored in everything about her, from her hair to her scent. She was beautiful and he was gorgeous and beneath the mistletoe that evening, nothing else seemed to matter to the two except each other.

"ACK! Don't you two have any decency at all?" Isaac's booming voice broke the kiss instantly. Miria covered the children's eyes unsuccessfully, as both Kathy and Jack had the widest grins on their faces. "How could you two do such a thing?" Isaac continued to lecture. "And in front of the children too! Go up to your bedroom, both of you! If you must do it, do it where we can't see! Love is too sacred! Too precious! Too blessed to be viewed by the whole world!"

"Yeah!" Miria added in, although there was no hiding the ecstatic beams lighting up their faces. "Go up to the bedroom! Isaac-kun and I will take care of everything else down here, don't worry!"

The embarrassed couple turned bright red at the stares now surrounding them. Jacuzzi smiled awkwardly. "We- we're sorry, everyone. Please go back to whatever you were doing." Everyone else in the room gave a hearty cheer, while someone yelled out that their boss hadn't changed at all through the years.

"We'll take your advice then, you two!" Nice gave the laughing crowd a thumbs-up. "Come on, Jacuzzi, the bedroom awaits!" And she grabbed his arm and dragged him upstairs to their bedroom.

"N-Nice, I don't really think-" his half-hearted protests followed her on the way up, the slammed door cutting off the latter part of his sentence.

Everyone looked right at each other amusedly. "Alright everyone, you heard 'em!" Isaac boomed. "Let's party!"

The music started again and everyone began going about their usual party business. Fred Splot's first birthday celebration was back in full swing.

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

**AN:** Nine pages on MS Word and I finally finish Jacuzzi's chapter. Next up will probably be Nice's one-shot and I suspect it'll take some time to finish as well. College isn't giving me any time to work on anything unrelated to school, you see.

When Jacuzzi brought up the issue in 1951, I assume Isaac and Miria forgot all about it, since the anime shows that they figure everything out for themselves all the way in _2001_.


End file.
